Mar-Edged

The cushions had been straightened, the flowers were fresh, and my favorite dishes were spread out on the table.  A is a perfectionist when it comes to her guests. She even made up for her absence by sticking out tiny notes, at random corners. Her memory about the little things i love, has never failed to amaze me.
 
 I walked around the house admiring the beautifully adorned walls, stepped as  gently as i could, over the exquisite carpets and made my way to the patio.

With my arms stretched, clutching the back of my head, my feet resting on the rails, one on top of the other, My stomach cradling a warm mug of coffee...I had done everything i could, to make myself feel comfortable. Yet a vague feeling of  being unsettled  hovered around.

'Its high time i had a settled life too', a meek voice whispered.  It jerked me from my posture, threatening to spill over swirls of coffee.

Really? .. I mean its ME! another voice sniggered.

There are miles to go, many to meet and a rush of madness to experience before i am ready to settle down. I am not cut for these things.  Be it long term contracts, Investments for life or for that matter even a permanent tatoo. Remember how i vanished from the saloon that suggested me a permanent hair straightening. I mean, how am i to know, if i'd like my hair that way, 2 months from then. May be i am just  not ready to digest the word 'permanent".  Well... I am not trying to refute the importance of commitment here. Its  definitely an essential ingredient in the professional front, in relationships and several other day to day interactions.
But right now, doesn't seem like it, to be pinned down to a place. I like the freedom to be able to go anywhere, do anything, quit my job at any point i like, switch careers, travel a lot, follow my heart and take risks. Honestly i still have no idea where i am headed to. Dabbling with interests and Skimming through choices, i am hoping to arrive at the destination, at least by eliminating options.  Yes, the chances of making a mistake is higher. But isn't that the way people learn?

And whats the big deal about settling down? Just because everyone i know is either getting engaged or married, doesn't mean i rush into one. People walk at different paces. And in this aspect of life, perhaps i am little slow. So bloody what? Huh! just as fancy as a white picket fence, a loving husband and 3 cute  babbling children may sound, the truth is i am not there yet- Mentally, emotionally and financially.

Now, I cannot say for sure, if its the right decision to make. It could very well, turn out to be a stupid decision too. But time is funny and sometimes a little magical. It can take a stupid decision, and turn it into something else entirely. And trust me, someday when the future unfolds, you will know, EXACTLY why these things happened. So, free yourself from these mental shackles and go taste the flavor to life, that the sheltered will never know.

( Note to self : A timely NO, is MUCH better than an untimely YES. )