Monday 6 February 2012

?!?!??!


Something has been tugging my heart for a long time now. A maelstrom of emotions and remembrances engulf me, and i keep tossing and turning in bed. Vague feelings, fears and uncertainties, keep encircling me the whole time. I wonder if its just the play of my capricious mind, or is more than that.

Someone at work  noticed i am quieter than usual. In class, i am irritated than usual ( Feel awfully guilty about my behavior)  I can hardly connect to anybody these days too. I am so caught up in the crossfires between my thoughts, that making sense of things around, seems hard. Well..nothing is exactly out-of-place, yet something is consuming me.

 May be i am bored.  Considering my fleeting nature, i guess its time to change my path and move to a different road. I like roads , that emerge out of nowhere. I like it when it bends, and i cannot see what lies ahead.  Shedding all inhibitions, when you just pick something, guided by those staticky messages the universe sends. That's me!

At times, I feel there are many 'ME' inside this 'I' that i am. And they all reside in small little compartments, waiting for their turn. When i please one ME, another throws tantrums. Its hard for me to feel completely fulfilled, because some part of ME, is always left yearning for attention.

The cacophony of everyday life , choking practicalities, the confinements of society, its getting  too much. aargh growing up sucks at times:-|

PS- I am too muddled to structure the post too. Eh! Loose ends...everywhere:P

3 comments:

  1. Take a break. Maybe that will help.

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  2. Aishwarya, you have a nice blog and it is good to learn that you too are having some muddled thoughts like most of us at times! Maybe a little stillness and calm will bring clarity of thoughts:)

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  3. So, it isn't just me! It might as well be the air...This post was so me. I have been feeling so too, on and off. But, I do enjoy this weird phase. Makes me think and has helped me write differently....Enjoy this phase....you will come out wiser, and at peace.

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